On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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