At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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