God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize