hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
