Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
