Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Ketchup is God's man juice
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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