Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Found your dick twin last night
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
