I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Shame - the story of my life.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize