He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
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Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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