Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He shit in the fireplace
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
