i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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