goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
