Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
