Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
ok first of all what the fuck
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
