Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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