God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
