You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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