Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize