This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
