omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize