Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
