party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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