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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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