i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
