Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
