drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
