and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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