Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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