There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
