I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
