i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize