DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
