I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
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