with your own penis?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
