At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You have to summon your inner elephant
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