Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
