We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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