i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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