Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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