In America we eat man semen.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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