week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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