You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
