so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
operation have a gay friend backfired
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
