he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
