Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
