Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My cat gives me a boner
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
