The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize