HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
