Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
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I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
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No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.