I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
