I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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