All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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