So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
