It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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