Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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