I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I was not drunk enough for that final.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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