What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
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Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
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He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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