Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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