I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
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You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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