i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize