am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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