my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
