she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
