I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
even my farts smell like vagina
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
