im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
