Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
